Shady?

I don't really know what it is about friends, but when you stop being friends with one person, does that really mean that you can't be friends with their family still? Does that mean that all communication that you once had with her brother and sister and mother and father has to cease? Even if you were really good friends with her sister and brother as well as her, why does that mean that they have to delete you out of their life as well? It's not like I was the reason why we stopped being friends initially in the first place. I guess those are just the rules I will never understand. i always wonder if I'm ever back home and i see an old friend that i no longer talk to, or am cool with at all. What would I do? Am i supposed to say Hi and be all excited to see them, even when they did me so dirty just one year ago? I mean i have forgiven this person, but not until way after we stopped being bestfriends. And i wonder what would happen if I saw her sister, or brother one day randomly.. Would they speak to me? Even though I am not cool with their sibling, but did nothing to them, I believe they would still ignore me? But who knows, maybe I'm wrong. I suppose I'll find out when i see them one day.

Thinking about all this only makes me wish my life were so much simplier. Sometimes i wish I was still bestfriends with her, it makes me think my life would be better, to have her as my bestfriend again. But then i think of why we are not friends anymore, and remember that my life wasn't super dandy when we were friends. Not saying she didn't make my life better, because she did. She was a hella fun and outgoing person who I LOVE TO DEATH, even now. But having her in my life always drew up complications with my family, because my mother did not like her nor think I should hang out with her because she was too "wild"? I still think that is bullshit, because I am pretty wild myself, but oh well.

Who knows if my life would be better if we were still besties. I guess I will just have to continue to wonder. All I know now is that where i am at in this point in life, is where i need to be. I'm working, in school, pursuing my goals, and trying to make my mother proud of me. That's all I can do, and that is all i am really worried about right now. All the other social issues going on are not for me, so I try not to stress them!

Let go, Let flow! ha