WRITERS BLOCK

sooo I'm having trouble writing lately.
I have the topics, just the words aren't quite coming to me like they usually do.
Usually I can start writing and then just non-stop typing for an hour or something trying to make it perfect, and then I "publish".. But for the past few days I have been attempting to write this blog, and I keep getting stuck at the very beginning or I get distracted with something else, or I just lose my entire train of thought. Ugh it's kind of frustrating!

But no worries, I will get back in the groove very soon, so keep coming back and you could be the first to check out my new stuff

=]

All I can do.

It's times like these when I wish me and all my friends were all together so I could potentially help or do something when I find out things like this. My really good friend Jamahl is from South Carolina and recently was in a horrible car accident. A driver fell asleep at the wheel and ran into their car head on, resulting in numerous injuries for Jamahl and his friends. I am really worried about Juice and his friends because of the condition of the car, I can only imagine what kind of state they are all in. I know Juice is ok at this point, just in a lot of pain and many bruises. But I pray that his friends are going to make it through this. They are currently in the hospital and may not make it. But I have faith that they will walk out of that hospital soon with a testimony of what God can do in the time of need. I just wish I was close to them so I could at least go visit and pray with them, or something you know? But I am in Texas, many states and miles away, making me just feel helpless, like I can not fully be there for my friend in his time of need. But at least I can ask God to look over him and his friends right now, and bring them through this. I love my friends and I get so worried sometimes that I am not always there for them like I should be. But I know God is, and thats all I can ask for.
Also, many prayers are going out to Biancas little brother, who went to prom and drank way to much and landed himself in the hospital in critical condition last night. Across the country in Boston, I want to do something, anything, but I am too far to physically be there for support. I hope they both know that I am there in spirit and in prayer. Everything is going to be okay and I know it, I just want them to know it too. I love my friends so much and right now, all I can do is pray.

Keep your spirits up guys && keep the faith.
much love,
Jessica

What a Mistake.

I will be the first to say that I love boys. I have always thought boys were cute and I have always been a big flirt. I like hanging out with boys, and i like the attention that I get from them. Now, I am not saying that I think I am the cream of the crop and every guy will want to talk to me, but I surely do not think that I am ugly. I am very capable of getting a boys attention, and at one point in my life, that was the only thing I was worried about. I also have a lot of history with boys. I have an older brother and a lot of guy friends of all ages.
Now, having said that, I am not a stupid girl. You boys are stupid. As I stated above, I have a lot of guy friends that simply see me as their "little sister" or bestfriend. So, it is common that I will be with my guy friends and they talk about girls around me. I know the game, and i catch onto it quick. So when guys come at me with the same game I quickly brush them off because they have nothing more to offer than a few sweet words before they try and get me into bed with them. This game plan never works guys. Take a little more time to get to know the girl before you try and get in her pants. You never know what this girl may have while you are sitting next to her plotting your next move to get her to drop her panties. It really only makes you look stupid and way to horny for your own good. It is usually easy for me to spot game at first glance, probably because I got used to the game the boys brought at me from my home town in Rowlett, Texas. And when i came to college, I was able to spot similar game that dudes brought from all over the nation that attended my college or a college close to my campus. However, there were a few instances that it took a little longer to catch them in their "oh so slick" attempt to get in my drawls. "selling candy all up in my ear" one day, and trying to get me into your room to "chill" the next, is not the smartest way to go if you are trying to get to know a girl.. Well, unless you are not really trying to get to know "her", but her underwear on the floor. Something else boys should think about is, myspace and facebook will get you into a lot of trouble with girls. Point blank. If you are attempting to talk to a girl, regardless if you want her goodies or not, do not lie about anything that you tell the truth about on the internet. Do not tell this girl that you are single, but your profile pic is of you and your girlfriend kissing.. AND THEN ADD THE NEW CHICK like nothing is wrong. Really think about these things as you boys are trying to be little pimps striving for more girls to add to the list.
Having said this, I seemed to have made a mistake similar to this, or really, it is his mistake. Frankly, I do not mind putting certain aspects of my business on the internet if I feel that it really needs to be said, or if I believe that it will potentially help the person reading it. So I will continue. I met a boy, and of course he was cute lol. We hung out several times before school was out, and NO, he definitely did not get any of my goodies, simply because I do not open my legs for every man that crosses the street. But I will say that I did like this boy. I sensed no game being spit at me, which kept me a around "that" much longer. So now that school is out, I obviously am not able to see him anymore until August, but that is not that crucial because I just met him and what not. But I decided to add him on facebook just to keep in touch besides calling or texting. As I was viewing his page today, of course I checked out his pictures first. Everything was alright at first, just regular pictures, and then I clicked to see the next one, and he is in a picture with a girl. I thought nothing of it until I went through about 7584735734 more pictures with this same girl, that she had posted. She seemed to have a whole album just for them too, all close and touchy, even kissing.. So I put two and two together and came to the conclusion that they were together. I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt and think that maybe these were just old pictures from a long time ago, and then I looked at when she had uploaded these pictures. The were posted a mere 2 weeks before we had met. Now, I must tell you that I met him one day, and started hanging out with him, no lie, the next day. So I was not convinced that one day she posted the pictures with comments like "cutest couple in the AUC" and in a mere 14 days, was broken up with her with no words exchanged before he started looking for another girl. So I began to think and came to yet another conclusion that this boy is probably still talking to his girlfriend or ex-girlfriend while he was pursuing myself. This situation should not only be awkward for him, but for myself as well. I am not the type to want to break up a happy home, so at the moment I feel as though I have come inbetween whatever relationship they have. But just as bad as I feel, this boy should feel dumb that he has been caught by facebook of all things.
So I urge all boys, if you are going to come at any female with game, come correct with it. Have your game set like no one elses, because I have seen many boys with the exact same game that never works! Make yourself unique if you believe that your calling in life is to get girls, get girls, get girls. Have your game so tight that no one can catch you in anything you do not want to be caught it, it only causes more drama and gossip. Which is just one more thing you have to worry about in between getting girls. getting girls. getting girls. I am aware that this blog is WAY longer than expected, but when I have something to say, I always want to make sure that I get my point across to everyone who reads this.

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND DO NOT GET CAUGHT YOU DUMBASS LAMES!
=]

God is Good all the TIME!

I can't lie. I'm not going to sit here and say that I have the best relationship with God, or that I am a saint and perfect and have absolutely no flaws what so ever. I make a lot of mistakes, and I have done a lot of things that I know God and my parents do not always approve of. But I will sit here and say that everyday I at least attempt to become a better person in God's eyes, I try and listen to what he is speaking to me, as well as listen to my mother when she tells me what is the right thing to do. I am proud to say that I am getting better at making the right choices in life, and walking in the way that God wants me to. A lot of things my mother tells me I do not agree with, because I have my own values and ultimately chose what I want to do and not to do, but she is at least 95% right about everything she says to me. I may be mad at the time because she makes me do things I do not want to do, but after a while, I have to admit that she is right and listening to what God says is always the best choice. I have done better at listening and I think that is why God has continued to bless me as well as my family so much in these past few years. I have a testimony.

At a young age I have always known God, and at least been saved. I believe that he sent Jesus down to save all of us from our sins, and that day on the cross, he gave every person hope to one day make it to heaven. I did not really start going to church until I was 11, when my parents got divorced. Since the day that I joined my first church, St. Luke "Community" United Methodist Church of Dallas, Texas, God has blessed us each and everyday, starting with waking my family up each morning. But still, I was never the kind of person to show my emotion in front of people, even at church. When all the adults were jumping up and down praising God, I was sitting down thinking about what where we were going to eat after church, or sleep. lol. I have been through so much in my life. Heartache, headache, deaths, divorce, rumors, relationships, etc. And until now, I used to always think that I was just lucky to get out of a bad situation, or think everything good that happened to me was like a miracle or something. I can say now that it was all God. He has done everything for me and my family, and brought me through every tough situation in life. Even now, I can do nothing but thank him for all he has done. I know that I have gotten myself in many situations that I should not be in, and I probably deserved to get the worst punishment for it, but God has never put anything on me that he knew I was unable to handle. And whether anyone wants to believe it or not, God already has your life planned out for you, and puts you in these situations to test your faith. I know that I have failed many times at these tests, but God has always forgiven me. He has forgiven me and helped me to learn from my mistakes so I will at least try not to make the same choice the next time. I'm not the most religious person, and I'm nowhere near perfect, but I try. I try to do right, and do the best I can to become the person God wants me to be. And with him, I know I have no limits in life. I know I can do anything I put my mind to, if it is in God's will. I know that I will succeed with God beside me, because he has, and always will, have my back.

I fully rely on God and without him, I am nothing.

Bout Ms. Buck

Who is Jessica Buck?
If you have never even heard this name before, let alone know me as a person, what is is about me that keeps you coming back to read my blog?
I've decided to give everyone a little insight on who I am and what I am about.
Since I was very little, I believe that I have been a very dedicated young lady that always strives for the best and has always attempted to bring my "A" game in everything that I do. I have an older brother that I have always competed with in every aspect of our lives. I've always wanted to out-do my brother in sports, academics, as well as in the social scene. While I am a year younger than him, when he was learning to read at age five, I was right behind him at age four trying to read just as well. I was always trying to out run him in track, and be the annoying little sister trying to hang out with his friends. This was just the type of person I was. I wanted to be older when I was not, because I wanted to do things that older people did. I was always too eager to wait to grow up, and my mother still tells me to this day that I am trying to grow up faster than I should. I want to achieve so much in life, and I really do not think that there is anytime for me to lounge around and wait to be older to make this happen. I want success now, not five years from now. I want to be making the big bucks at age 19, not 25. I suppose many may underestimate my ability to handle my own and make things happen for myself, but once I start something, I always finish it with a bang. However, with so many ambitions and dreams I have in my life, I cannot reach my highest potential with out God in my life. Everything that I do, I always try to pray before hand to make sure that this is what God is calling me to do, and with God backing me in all this, I know I cannot fail.
Now, I must admit, that I am quite the stubborn child. I know that I have put my mother through hell during my 19 years living on this earth, and everyday I talk to her I know I stress her out and leave her thinking that I am nothing but a drama queen who will throw a fit if I do not get my way. I will say that my mother must know what is best for me, but at first sight I do not always see this. I have a completely different mentality than my mother so I am always thinking that she does not understand me at all, and times are different and things that were once so crucial when she was younger, are not at all something to stress now. But my mother is such a virtuous woman and prays daily for her children and their safety, and ultimately what God says goes, no ifs, ands, or buts about it! I love her to death even if I do not always show it. With out her, I do not know how I would survive!
On the other hand, there are many things that I do that my mother is not always around to see. I am a crazy girl who loves to have fun and be hyper and crazy with my girls. I believe that being young and free means that I am able to make my own choices and then live with them the next morning. In no way do I think I have portrayed myself in a negative way in my eyes. I simply see myself as a 19 year old girl, going for her goals, and in between all this work, I play just a little bit! I love to party, go to clubs, dance,etc. Basically I hate being bored.
Ultimately, I love myself and I think that I am a great person to be around. Whether you think the same or not, that is not going to keep me from being myself and doing what I want. I urge you all to get to know me before you put any judgments on my character, and never judge a book by its cover. I might surprise you and be the coolest person you have ever met!! I hope that anyone reading this has somewhat of a better understanding of me and what I am about, and I would also like to thank anyone and everyone that reads my blogs and gives me feedback to potentially help me get to the level I need to be at in order to succeed and achieve all that I am capable of!

Importance

Recently I was informed that a young man I have known for a while passed away this week. We went to the same church, went through Confirmation together when we were 12, even took trips together with other youth across the country during the summers looking at colleges. It saddened me so much to find this out because I'm sure no one ever saw it coming. He was such a nice young man and really wasn't rude or hateful to anyone. He was not always the most popular in the group, but entertaining none the less. For the past couple of days he is all I have been thinking about because it just goes to show that we take a lot of things for granted and do not truly appreciate what we have and who we have in our lives until they are long gone. So many insignificant things occur in our lives, and we pay more attention to material things than anything else. Material things will easily come and go but the special people in your lives should not be taken advantage of and we should all keep these special people in our lives closest to our hearts. I want Eric's family to know that they are in my prayers and I have the deepest sympathy for them and the loss of their son. Eric will be greatly missed and never forgotten.